I think that sometimes people get caught up in the emotion of the moment and say things that actually mean more than they intend. Almost like a Freudian slip, but no slip.
For example, when seeing someone who has lost a lot of weight, the person says
” OH MY! You have lost a ton!” The person was probably trying to pay the weight-loser a compliment. BUT, if you look at the words, it is really not much of a compliment at all. Do you think they had a superlative amount of weight to lose? Do they look better?
Could the person really be saying. “It looks like you have lost some weight, but you had a lot to lose, so better keep going?”
Compliments which express surprise or delight over new or changed behavior can backfire and actually insult.